How can I explain why my oldest daughter’s more grown-up guide takes more time?

How do I help my oldest daughter understand why her more grown-up guide takes more time than her sisters’ guides?

First of all, we LOVE CTC (Creation to Christ)! It is our favorite guide so far, and we have only done two units of it. The notebooking pages are beautiful, and they really make the work easier for my oldest daughter. I have three other daughters, who are each in their own younger guides (Little Hands, Little Hearts, and Bigger Hearts). Here is my dilemma. My oldest daughter has been discouraged by the time it takes her to do school compared to the time it takes her sisters to do school. (Let me preface this by saying my husband and I are both GLAD her guide takes longer; she is more grown-up. It should.)

First, she complained her sisters were distracting her, but we’ve homeschooled from the beginning. It’s not really anything new. Certainly, it isn’t any different than it was a month ago when we were finishing Preparing Hearts. Second, I would get her started. Then, I’d do school with her sisters, and they would finish and she’d still be working. I tried to explain that when she was doing Bigger it didn’t take her any longer than it’s taking her younger sister. Likewise, when her younger sister is in CTC in a few years, it will take her roughly the same amount of time. That explanation hasn’t helped.

My Daughter’s Dawdling When She Compares Her Grown-Up Day to Her Younger Sisters’ Days

After her younger sisters got finished, she would dawdle. She’d complain that she didn’t know something or that it couldn’t be done. (Yes, AS I WAS EXPLAINING how to do something, she was telling me it could not possibly be done.) I can’t say that our school time is running long. The MOST time it’s taken her has been 5 hours and that was on a day where she was complaining about everything, not paying attention to instructions and having to re-do a lot, and she took two breaks plus lunch. On a day where she’s really doing things the way she should, even if she runs into a tough spot, it takes 3.5 hours usually, without Drawn into the Heart of Reading. But to her, having THAT MUCH SCHOOL after her sisters were ALL done was just overwhelming.

My Experiment Today with Letting Her Be More Grown-Up

Then I remembered reading where you or Julie (or maybe both of you) have your more grown-up kids get up early and do their Bible study first thing. My oldest LOVES getting up early. She LOVES getting up before her sisters. So I made a deal with her. I told her that I would allow her to get up as early as 6:30 IF – and only if – she did Bible study and either history or science and anything else she could do before 7. At 7, when her sisters are allowed up, she would stop and eat and do whatever they do before school/chore time. My husband thought this was a great idea. We tried it today, and she LOVED it!

Now, granted this only happened today, so who knows if it will actually continue to work once we go forward with it. If it does work, it possibly could have her finishing at about the same time as her younger sister in Bigger Hearts. So, I guess I kind of answered my question, but going forward, do you have any tips for how to handle older children’s more grown-up days going longer than younger siblings’ days? How do I get her to see this being ‘grown-up’ business has up-sides? Thanks!

Sincerely,
“Ms. Please Help with Older Daughter’s More Grown-Up Day Going Longer Than Siblings’ Days”

Dear “Ms. Please Help with Older Daughter’s More Grown-Up Day Going Longer Than Her Siblings’ Days,”

Creation to Christ is a more grown-up guide. Starting CTC can be a big change for kiddos as they have a longer day because their school load is increasing, and they begin to have to take on more responsibility. However, just as you’re already discovering, this change also allows for kiddos to be more in control of their day, meaning they can actually have more say-so about when they start school and the order in which they do things. They no longer have to wait on me to run the show!

The Up Side to Being in a More Grown-up Guide

Once my sons could see that by getting up early they could be done much earlier with their school, and have time left in their day to pursue their own interests, they became very motivated to rise early. They still enjoy their school, but it doesn’t rule their entire day.

One of my sons is really more of a night person, and this last school year he started doing a couple hours of his next day’s school at night, so he could sleep in an extra hour the next morning. I wasn’t sure about that at first, until I talked to my husband about it. He told me, “What other 14-year-old boy do you know who would choose to do school the night before to be ahead? How can this be a bad thing?!?” Anyway, sometimes it’s hard for me to think outside the box of the “school day” too!

More Control Over How the Day Goes for Your More Grown-Up Daughter

I encourage you to let her see that doing a more grown-up guide means she has more control over how her day goes. Since more of the guide is independent, she can be more independent from you if she only takes hold of the concept. Tell her things will go so much more quickly if she doesn’t need you so much to prod her.

She may want to “set-up” for her school day the night before, so her things are all out in the order that she wants them to be. My second oldest son does this to jumpstart his day. It also gives him an idea of what the next day will bring. He sets out his books in the order he desires and reads over the plans to be prepared. This is something he’s chosen to do on his own, and he was my giant procrastinator and distractor! So, I know that good changes come from this type of responsibility, but it does take time to see the change, and it can be a bit painful in the process. I look at it as life-skills training!

Blessings,
Carrie