Be realistic about your homeschool life – but love it!
Are you realistic about your homeschool life? I tend to look at the sunny side of life, and that can be good. However, when I expect everything to go perfectly, I find I am often disappointed. When I began homeschooling with Heart of Dakota (HOD), I was not so realistic. I really expected our sons to love every moment of our homeschool life – from the time they got up, to the time they went to bed. I envisioned them loving every single thing we did. If they didn’t, I was crestfallen. I thought if I was just sunnier, “smiley-er”, sweeter, more patient, more encouraging, more loving – they would love it all. Well, the truth is that is just not realistic.
No one can love every single moment of life – nor every single school subject, activity, or assignment. That kind of expectation is not realistic, and it places an unnecessary burden on both mom and child. Everyone has good days and bad days. Every child has favorites and least favorites. God made each child with different interests, abilities, and talents. However, that doesn’t mean that we should cater to our children’s favorites and skip their least favorites. Often a child’s least favorites (whether that means school subjects, activities, or assignments) are the things they need the most.
The child that cannot spell well still needs to learn to do so to the best of his/her ability. The same goes for the child who doesn’t love math, reading, writing; discussing, narrating, drawing, memorizing; experimenting, creating, or even following directions. It is not realistic to expect our children to love every part of homeschooling; however, it is realistic (and in their best interests) to expect them to do it. And sometimes, they find new favorites along the way!
Be realistic about your teaching.
Are you realistic about your teaching? I love teaching. However, that doesn’t mean I absolutely love every single subject, activity, or assignment. I have favorites and least favorites too. When I began homeschooling, I was not so realistic. I really did want to love every little bit of my teaching. Having taught preschool through 12th grade now, I realize that is just not possible.
I love teaching reading – I even love dictation, grammar, writing, and poetry. I love math – but the truth is I would much rather do math by myself… in a very quiet room. Oh, how I love to discuss things! That is definitely a favorite assignment for me. And history projects? What fun! I especially love the baking ones. Teaching science? Not a favorite, unless it involves discussions, baking, or reading beautiful books. Teaching Geography? Not a fan. Teaching Bible? Devotions? Oh, I love teaching both! Especially if we get to discuss something, or if music is involved.
Well, being realistic about my teaching, I know I will love many things, but I will not love everything. However, that doesn’t mean that I should cater to my favorites and skip my least favorites. That does no favors for my children. Not to mention, I do believe sometimes my least favorites are the ones I need the most. They teach me patience, and they give me empathy for my children as they work through harder subjects, activities, or assignments. Likewise, my children see I am committed to teaching them everything, even if it doesn’t all come just so naturally to me and even if I am not so perfect at it all. It is not realistic to expect I will enjoy every part of my teaching; however, it is realistic (and in my best interest) to teach it all. I definitely have found new favorites along the way!
Be realistic about what is said about your homeschooling.Â
Are you realistic about what is said about your homeschooling? When I first began homeschooling, I didn’t know I had expectations about this, but deep down, I did. Surely, if I was a wonderful homeschool teacher, my children would be incredibly thankful to me. They would more than likely express it often – with words, or with occasional heartfelt notes, or with tiny gifts now and then. My husband would more than likely be incredibly thankful too. He would not express it often – as he is not often expressive like that – but still, if I was a wonderful homeschool teacher, he would more thank likely tell me I was doing a great job, buy me flowers on the first day of school, or make a grand gesture at our sons’ graduations.
My in-laws would also come around to saying what a great job I was doing homeschooling the kids. Well, maybe not a “great” job, but at least they would take note of how amazing my kids were turning out and attribute a small part of that to my homeschooling them. Our friends who didn’t homeschool would also more than likely come around to our homeschooling. Surely they would eventually say something complimentary, kind, or uplifting.
Well, you can guess where I am going with this. These (unknown and unrealized) expectations I had (deep down) when I first began homeschooling were not realistic. Now, that is not to say that some of them did not come true. I know my sons are incredibly thankful to me for homeschooling them, and I know my husband is too. They don’t always say it or show it like I thought they would, but deep in my heart I know beyond a shadow of a doubt, they are thankful. They love their life, and they attribute much of that to our homeschooling. I love my life, and I don’t let unrealistic expectations steal my joy anymore. My husband and I don’t live with regrets about our sons and the way they are turning out. We love the young men they are and the adult men they are becoming!
Be realistic, but be happy!
We can be realistic about our homeschool life, our teaching, and what is said about our homeschooling – and still be happy! Deep down, we know what we are doing is important. God knows it is important, and He loves that we are homeschooling our children to know Him, to love Him, and to believe in Him. We can be strong and sure about what we are doing when others aren’t. God is invited into our homeschooling with Heart of Dakota every day. He IS the heart of it.
The happy ending to this homeschool journey is not that our children loved every single thing they did, not that we loved every single thing we taught, not that others praised us for homeschooling – it is that we loved God and we loved our homeschool life. That is the happy ending. And I see it lived out little by little every day as my sons grow. Be realistic, but be happy! Life is good, and what we are doing is important. Realistic expectations need not rob us of that knowledge. Rather, being realistic can be empowering because we can enjoy our homeschool life now! Why wait?
In Christ,
Julie
