HELP - I so wanted this to work!

[eachlee]

Hi,
Well, we started LHTH half speed about two months ago. I was hoping to combine my dd and ds next september when they will be 4 and 5 doing LHTH full speed (with the kinder options added in from LHFHG for my 5 y/o). I have all but given hope of that working out. My son dislikes nearly everything we do for LHTH.

He does do the explode the code primers and rod and staff workbooks that aren't used with LHFHG and loves them. Is there any way to make LHTH more enjoyable for him? I really really wanted this to work. I don't know that he'd do any better with LHFHG because he seems to find the fingerplays and acting out the bible stories especially awful, and often cries (real tears not tantrum crying).

Any advice, or should I just scrap this with him and try something else? My dd loves doing LHTH, gets so excited when I say that we're going to do it, and is so proud of everything she does.

I have done before five in a row with my son and he does enjoy that... it's just so much more work for me....

Thanks! Nancy

[creativemommy]

My son didn't do LHTH but we had some trying moments our first few months of LHFHG this fall. He really complained about the rhymes for each day of each unit. After a few months something clicked and he began to do them with me (for awhile I would do them alone while he watched and his younger sister would do them with me). I really tried not to let it discourage me. Now as we approach the end of LHFHG, he's actually "happy" to do them! Go figure!

I wrote all of that to say...you never know what a few months will do. When you begin LHTH in the fall it may be very different but if not, keep going through the guide letting him watch you and his older sister having fun! He may eventually want to join in!

[amethyst rain]

I think the key is to just keep on doing them without forcing him to participate if he doesn't want to. I know my boys get embarassed even around just me sometimes when they are acting "goofy". I think it's normal. I'd keep on with your plan for a bit and encourage him to join in when he feels comfortable.

[MelInKansas]

What exactly does he not like? Does it seem "childish" to him? He doesn't like the fingerplay/rhymes? Some of those have gone over better with my kids than others. Thankfully my 5 YO DD is the one who enjoys stuff like that and is a kinesthetic learner. Does he already know letters and thinks he doesn't need any work on them? Other than that I don't know what he might not like.

It was a little slow for us getting into it at times but now we are in the routine and we all LOVE it. Again, I have a kinesthetic learner so all the hands-on stuff is right up her alley.

I have been doing LHTH all this school year. We do 3-4 days a week and skip some of the activities. My two DDs who do it are 5 and 3. But if seat work is your DS's thing maybe just do a lot of LHTH with the younger one and let him do his workbooks?

Melissa

[mamayi]

I had a very similar experience when my ds was 5 and I tried to start LHFHG. I got very frustrated but then my kind neighbor who had been homeschooling for several years encouraged me to just take things slow and only focus on a few skills for a few months. Lo and behold, six months later when we tried Little Hearts again he was ready and EAGER for it. We finished all of the K options in about five months and then took the next school year to go through the entire manual with the 1st grade options.
It's really amazing the change in readiness that a few months can bring. But I totally understand the frustration too!

[Carrie]

Nancy,

I just wanted to pop-in and check to see if your son is only 3 right now? If so, then since he's a boy it (and is not your first-born) it wouldn't be unique for him not to want to do school instead of playing. My own little 3 year old has learned to love LHTH and asks for it now, but for the first while that we did it all he could see was that he was being pulled away from his play-time to do something else. This isn't an uncommon reaction for boys when they are young. At age 3-4 they are also often resistent to anything they feel is being "required" of them, which is a battle that can continue to rear its head for boys for many years to come.

Boys don't seem to resist sitting down to color or draw for "a bit" if they feel in control of how long and how well they do that. They can see an obvious end to it. Cuddling up for stories seems to fall into that same area, but doing a certain activity a certain way can feel confining to them and bring out their desire to assert themselves by saying, 'No'. The word 'No' is a favorite of the 3 and 4 year old boy (and girls too), and comes up often at our house these days!

I share this with you to let you know that at age 3, it's fine for him to just play rather than participate. Just let your daughter do LHTH and let him be off playing and join in when he'd like. When you get ready to be serious about school with him on a daily basis, requiring him to participate will be more of a character battle/issue than it will be a school/learning issue. This will be an important battle to win for your future interactions with him, so don't do the battle until you are sure he is up to the task that you are asking of him. Maturity will play a huge part From what you've shared, this will likely be when he is 4 or even closer to 5.

The activities in LHTH are interesting for pretty much all types of kiddos and for all types of learners once the child is able to do what we ask, because we include activities for all of the learning styles every day. So, the problem is not that the activities don't match your child's learning style. Obviously some will match him better than others. The lessons within LHTH are very short, with each box taking 3-5 minutes to complete, so the problem is not within the length of the lesson. It is acceptable for me as a parent to expect a 3-4 year old to do what I ask for 3-5 min. at a time. While you can easily switch to doing a different program, you'll likely find that your son will assert himself again and again in a similar way throughout your homeschool journey and changing curriculums will eventually no longer be the answer.

At our house the expectation is that kiddos will do the work I've asked of them with a cheerful attitude and without complaint. We work to this end on a daily basis from my almost high schooler down to the 3 year old. We begin this expectation with our kiddos when we begin LHTH. If your son is not ready for LHTH, then I wouldn't ask this of him of him yet. Boys typically take longer to mature than girls, so you must take that into account when weighing what you're asking of him. I do really pay attention to the time of day that I ask my young boys to do "school" too as it makes a huge difference if it is at a time of day that works well with their personality and inner clock!

Here's an interesting post for you to read as you ponder on boys/girls and workbooks as well: viewtopic.php?f=6&t=4947

Blessings,
Carrie

[eachlee]

Thanks so much for all your replies!

My son is 4, almost 5. My daughter is 3, will be 4 in the fall.

I have tried to find out what he doesn't like, his answer is usually that he just can't do it. He's generally an obedient child, but I can see what you mean when you say he can control the coloring or workbooks.

I will continue on our intended path with the hope that things improve! It's so nice to know that others have been where I am and have managed to get past it. Thank you again for your help and encouragement!

[MelInKansas]

Maybe just observe what parts of it seem to be making him uncomfortable, and if it's maybe something he's not understanding/relating to or if it's just the get up and dance around thing. I do have one friend doing LHFHG whose son is very introverted, a good book learner (probably visual), and she did not do the fingerplays all of the time. She didn't feel they were as valuable for him. But since you have one child who loves them, maybe it's a good way to stretch him by doing it but telling him he doesn't have to participate but he does have to watch and learn the words.

I will say too that at first my kids didn't get so into the "acting it out" of the stories. But I noticed this really does reinforce their understanding and they remember the stories so much better this way. And again, now they LOVE it and do it happily. It is a lot more fun having two kids to act them out than just one.

[Mom2Monkeys]

You mind find that he's just embarrassed! I've been through that with an even older child that was defiant about doing them and would refuse-- leaving mom there carrying on all by her lonesome like a crazy woman! I didn't know that was the problem..who would have thought he'd feel that way around us?! So, it came out and finally he does them and enjoys it usually.

Just remember also, don't skip something in the guide just b/c your child doesn't seem to enjoy it...sometimes repeated exposure it what it takes to get here. No one likes broccoli the first time, but keep after it and they'll learn to love it! (at least a couple of mine did!) Plus, there is purpose in everything in the guide that builds up certain skills in steps through each guide. The Rhymes have a purpose. They are not just for fun, or just "busywork", or without reason. It's a stepping stone. It's important to continue!

You may have him assert himself by having him teach the motions to his sister so he'll feel in charge.

[my3sons]

I just want to encourage you that there is learning in every part of HOD. Children have natural interests, and then things that are not as naturally interesting to them. However, that doesn't mean the thing that is natural to them is more important to do than the things that are not natural to them. Sometimes, the best learning comes through the struggles. If you have some time to read my post about watercolor painting for my oldest that I shared in the Weekly Check-In, maybe what I'm trying to say here will make more sense (it's the "Creation to Christ" post by me - my3sons:
viewtopic.php?f=14&t=6100

I also think that it is very important to establish good habits with our young dc - especially boys - when beginning homeschooling. I've just been reading Charlotte Mason's volumes and finding so much of them are devoted to instilling good habits. So, I have tried to take her stance on that, and tell my dc that what we are learning in our HOD guides is important. It is not up to them to determine what things they will do, and what things the will not do, nor is a cheerful willing to learn attitude and option - it is expected, not only of them, but of me too (which we remind each other of on days that aren't going as well).

These discussions of habits I expect my dc to have, and that I want to have as well, have helped set the tone for our homeschooling, as well as the atmosphere for it. They know they will be doing what is in the guide, and that they are expected to have the habit of cheerfulness and attentiveness, or there will be consequences - and then they'll still finish their work and be expected to have that habit again. Not every day is perfect, but this kind of expected attitude really helps.

One thing that has worked with my little sweetie that can be more of a challenge to teach is to let him know that if he's not ready to have a can-do-it cheerful attitude for me that's fine, I'll just work with his older brother instead, and whenever I get back around to him, I do, but he will finish school before he has free time then, and it will just have to be later than his older brother finishes then. He usually comes around quite quickly then, and never fails, once he's doing whatever we were having a tough time with before, he gets through it and finds himself enjoying it in the process.

I just want to encourage you to keep working with your little sweetie, as it does get better as they realize you have planned well for them, and you have all confidence they can do what it is that is planned in the HOD guides because it is important stuff that shapes their hearts, minds, and character along the way. HTH!

In Christ,
Julie

[MomtoJGJE]

My 5yo does'nt like the fingerplays either... she sits there while I do them with the 3 and 7 year old She is working more on reading right now and doesn't want to be bothered with letters and Bible stories she already knows, but we are combining so for the rest of this year she's gonna sit there and listen... There are no tears though... I dont' know what I'd do if she had real tears over it

[eachlee]

Just wanted to update with some good news.

This morning I told my kids we were going to start and to come sit on the couch. My son jumped up ran over to the couch and asked if we were doing painting today. I checked and the guide said to practice writing the letters with chocolate syrup. Perfect! We did all the other activities and left that one to last. He happily did the story with us and is now painting letters. Thank you for your advice and encouragement!! I feel like we can do this - we might be painting every day but it will be worth it.

Nancy

[water2wine]

How wonderful! So glad you have found your balance and happy spot with doing school! Congratulations!

[pjdobro]

I'm coming late to this post and it sounds like things are improving. Hooray! I did want to just mention one thing that I've run into from time to time as the mother of boy/girl twins. Sometimes one child gets the hang of something more easily than the other and it can cause quite a bit of frustration with the other child. Since your son is older than your dd by a little, if he feels that he can't do something as well as his sister is doing, that could be particularly difficult for him, and it might make him not want to even try it. I think that is something to keep an eye on and if he is feeling really frustrated by an activity, it might be because he is comparing himself to his sister. Sometimes with my two, I've had to do some activities separately to allow them each to excel in their own way. Of course all along the way, I've tried to stress to them that they are each gifted by God in different ways. As they've gotten older and matured they have begun to accept that more. It's always been a bit more difficult for my son, though, because boys seem to naturally not be as ready for academics as soon as girls. At least that has been the case here. Anyway, I just wanted to share that. I'm so happy that you are finding your groove now!