Youngers bypassing older siblings?

[kayben]

HI, I just mentioned this at the tail end of my last post as Carrie made a suggestion of combining my kiddos next year who will then be in first and third. Their abilities will actually be similar in math and I can see that my 6 year old will probably catch up in reading pretty quickly as she just started reading cvc words, and is LOVING it. She is quick to learn and excited about it. My 8 year old has learning issues and struggles through year after year. Does anyone have younger siblings who pass by their older siblings in the basics? Does it even really matter? I just need to focus on the individual right? Its hard as all of the others (and there are many..lol) are not having difficulties and are actually able to excel in almost all subject matter. She has very low muscle tone and fatigues after four or five words in her writing and this is Cassie's fourth year of BASIC K math. Two years of K, first grade and now second. She just can't grasp concepts. We will just keep plugging along:) Just wondering how other families in this situation handle it, or am I just making a mountain out of a molehill?

Thanks so much,
Rebecca

[inHistiming]

I've had this on my mind lately as well, because my dd (almost 11) is moving very slowly through her math....we are just approaching the end of her 4th grade program that we began Sept. of 2009 and she is now in her 5th grade year. We did have a move in there and a new baby, then another new baby this fall....but still, it is taking longer also due to having to go back to cover some concepts a second time. Then I have a 2nd grade ds who is half way through his 2nd grade math book and I can see him quickly approaching the level she is in if she continues to struggle and he continues to excel....I have had conversations with her specifically and all of them in general, about how God has created us all different, with varied skills and gifts, and that we all have to work harder at some things than others. We have also all talked about how we need to encourage one another, not making negative comments about others' abilities, etc. It has taken some time, and she still feels bad sometimes about her struggle, but it has gotten better and for the most part they all realize we're all different and we can't expect everyone to be the same, and that it doesn't mean one is 'smarter' or better than the other just because they may be better at a certain subject, sport, activity......

I've just tried to be encouraging over the years. This daughter has had quite a few challenges to overcome...nothing extremely serious, but her attitude was that "I can't learn to read. I can't learn to draw." etc., because she was struggling, some (maybe even most) because of a vision impairment that had gone undiscovered and caused some problems. Now, after getting glasses and persisting in those areas, she is an absolutely wonderful artist and she LOVES to read, and does so very well. She still struggles with spelling, but we are using the dictation from HOD and that is getting better also, so she doesn't feel so "stupid" as she used to. She's our creative writer in the family and even wrote, illustrated, and printed out copies of her latest 'book' to give to grandparents and my brother's family as a special Christmas gift just from her. So, if it becomes an issue, or even just to try to avoid it becoming an issue, I would say just being encouraging with each child and talking about how God has created us all special (I'm sure you already do that anyway!) has helped us tremendously. We are so far from where we were just a few years ago. HTH

[kayben]

Thank you for your encouragement. I am going to begin Beyond with cassie this coming week. (It just came in the mail ) I will then re assess in the summer and see where everyones skills are at that time. If the girls are close, then maybe it will actually help her to have someone to work with. Sometimes kids seem to be better teachers in some circumstances.... Its just helpful to know that others have dealt with similar situations! Thankyou.
Rebecca

[Tansy]

I have a similar problem.
I have talked to the younger one about the older ones learning problem. I made sure we all know were all good at somethings and all bad at somethings.
I also do math separately even tho they are coming closer and closer to each other. I will continue to do math separately

Have you tried hand strengthening exercises, I have lots of them posted in this post...
viewtopic.php?f=6&t=7480&hilit=+hand

as well as a pic of "The Claw" which is also super helpful!

[water2wine]

I have that with my dd with CP and her four younger siblings. Unfortunately her 6 year old sister has passed her up in reading and soon will in math as well. On the other end I now have my 6 year old passing up my 8 year old in reading ability and coming close in math. I have one case where they are in the same exact programs and one where they use different material for math and LA. That did help to have them in different math curriculum for a while but in all honesty eventually they realize it all and you just have to work around it. I did the same thing trying to have them focus on their strengths and run their own race and that helps. I have found in all honesty for me I just had to have a lot of honest conversations. But there is that comparison thing and it does come up. It has not been huge but just another thing to work around is all.

[mrskturner]

My eight year old son has passed my ten year old daughter in math and they are on the exact same reading level at the moment. My daughter has severe dyslexia. With HOD, I just combine both of them in one book. My daughter is currently doing second grade math and english, but this is what level she is on. And with dyslexia there are days where her brain boards a plane to Paris and is gone for the day. Those days are really frustrating for her. But I keep Psalms 139:14 on an index card posted on the wall infront of her desk. It reminds her that God does not make mistakes, He made her that way on purpose. My son has gotten really good at cheering his sister on when she does good on her school work or trys really hard, and encouraging her that it's not the end of the world when she doesn't do so good. She may struggle with reading and math, but she excels in childcare, housework, compassion, and encouraging others! I am always quick to point out her spiritual gifts that God blessed her with.

[my3sons]

My middle ds reads almost as well as my oldest ds, and my oldest ds is an excellent reader. It has helped for my oldest ds to have some things that are just his own. My middle ds could read everything my oldest ds can, but I have said "no" to some special things for my oldest ds's sake. The Chuck Black books and the Hardee boys are off limits. Likewise, my oldest ds has been wanting to read the Eggleston books I'm doing with BHFHG with my middle ds. I said "no" to that, as they are special to my middle ds right now. When we finish BHFHG, my oldest ds can read them (and he already did them with me years back when I did BHFHG anyway - he just loves them). So, sometimes just having a few "these are special and off limits" type things is enough to keep the emotions in check. Just an idea that's worked well for us.

In Christ,
Julie

[kayben]

Thank you everyone for your suggestions. I love the focusing on individual strengths and I also love the idea of saving certain books for certain levels. Great plans. Thank you. Thank you thank you! I love to check back in and see what great btdt advice I am going to find!
Rebecca