All the extras of homeschooling

[pollo_la]

Okay, I have something I need to come to terms with. If all I ever do with my kids for "official school" is HOD, will they turn out fine? You must think I'm crazy for asking this question, but let me explain...

There are so many different philosophies, curriculums, games, extracurricular activities, fieldtrips, etc. I really want to have complete peace about homeschooling, but I have this nagging "unsettling" feeling. I feel complete peace about my decision to use HOD for our curriculum, but then I wonder if I still need to feel pressure to do specific things to "enrich" our free time. For example, I do not like to play board games with my kids. I just do not like it (at least not the preschool/kindergarten ones). I feel guilty, like I'm cheating them out of a fun, educational experience and they will be forever "lacking" as a result. Also, do they NEED to be in extra curricular activities? My dd likes ballet, and I will most likely continue to let her take a ballet class, but if I put her in nothing, and just let her "socialization" be with family, friends, church, and trips to the grocery store she would be fine, right? Is this rediculous? I guess I just want to know that in our free time, if we never did anything more then simply what we WANT to do (within reason... I won't have my kids sit in front of the tv all day eating chips), my kids will turn out fine, just by living life and using HOD.

What are everybody's thoughts on all the "extras" so to speak, of homeschooling?

[netpea]

This is where my hubby and I tend to disagree. I believe they will be just fine without all the extras. My hubby insists they need the extras, so we do it. And I just extend our school year a little bit so that we can take days off here and there for the extras.

[Mom25]

Don't feel bad about the board games. I don't like it either! I do force myself once in a great while, after much begging. LOL! And I do find the games for older kids more tolerable.

As far as extra activities, as long as your kids are happy, they'll be fine. Because kids can't run around and play all day like they used to (due to child predators ) parents feel they need to "fill" their time with all sorts of activities. I know this because I fell into this cultural phenomenon when my kids were littler. I have since jumped off that train and we are happier for it. The only thing "extra" I require of my kids is service projects as they get older (approaching middle school). HTH!

[novagirl]

I would add to use the "extras" in moderation. I have family members whose boys are in school all day and then are in about two to three different sports a season. Well, the family is NEVER home, thank goodness for cell phones, or I'd never get to talk to them. They can't travel to visit their family either round the holidays either because the boys don't want to miss any games. With two boys in two sports, 5 to 6 nights a week are spent at practice or games. I wonder when they have time to just be a family?.

[MamaBear23Cubs]

Oh I love the extras, they give me a break from the children. I know that sounds bad but when you are the only parent 6 to 12 months at a time, you look forward to all those outside activies. Makes the time go faster and during deployments we need faster and slower pace of life. Now that my younger two are older, I am enjoying games. Before it was just DD and I. Now my son has started joining us but my 4 year old is still a pain to play the bigger games with. She still does better with the preschool games so she pairs up with me on the big kid games.
When is hubby is home, it's all family. I actualy cancelled most of my May/June activities so we can have Daddy/family time.

[Daisy]

I'm not a big board game person either although I occasionally will play one. My kids play board games on their own and don't seem the worse for it. Play dough, drawing, running, climbing trees, playing at the park, puzzles, library, gardening, Awanas, reading, church activities...those are what we consider the extras, I guess. It's what we do to fill our free time anyway.

We all choose different ways to fill our time. There are only 24 hours in a day.

I'm a huge believer in just letting kids play, explore, discover. Come up with their OWN activities, use their OWN imaginations, create their OWN games, build their own forts, etc. I still kick my kids into the fenced backyard, hand them a carrot, and say "go play." It's cheap AND educational AND yes, we live in the suburbs and I keep an eye on them. So no, I'm not into extra curriculuar activities as defined by paying someone else to make my family's life more busy. We are a sit on the front porch shooting the breeze type family. My kids are 7yo and almost 10yo. They are smart, healthy, active, outgoing, AND know how to entertain themselves with 10 sticks and a patch of dirt.

[funkmomma71]

I'm with the ladies who have replied so far, let children be children. When I was little I spent most of my time outside playing, and I plan letting my children do the same. Right now my dd takes swim lessons, but once she has mastered swimming and she doesn't express a desire to continue, we're done. We did the same with gymnastics, she did that for a couple of years, but we pulled her out recently, for two reasons, it seemed like nothing more than a VERY expensive playdate and she never practiced at home, so why continue? I'm not completely opposed to outside activities, but I do believe that you must be careful to not allow you and your family to become enslaved by these activities. At this point we are limiting my dd to one outside activity, this will force her to decide if what she wants to try is worth giving up what she currently doing. I want her and my ds to enjoy being at home and cultivating their relationships with the Lord, us and each other, not running around trying to keep up with the world. This is just one more reason to homeschool, the peer pressure is much lower! Blessings.

[my3sons]

First, let me say that extras are a personal preference for each family to decide upon. With that being said, our personal preference is that our dc are not in anything outside of the home. We are not adding anything to HOD now. I used to add a few things to HOD and have now stopped. We have other books they read, an occasional thing they do for fun, but no formal requirements for them outside of HOD. We have LOVED this! I am proud my dc cannot wait for free time and generally know how to happily fill it. Now and then, we play a game as a family, watch a movie together, my dh occasionally takes them fishing, but most weeks we do not leave the house aside from attending church and seeing the cousins once. We love our life! I believe parents are the best "socializers" for dc. Then, next would be other extended family members (provided they can be a good influence ). Our dc talk easily with both adults and other dc when the occasion arises. They are happy and confident in their daily lives, and that transfers to everything else. I'm not saying this has to be everyone's approach, but I do think it is wise to be careful that you don't overfill dc's time so much that they are constantly asking, "What should I do next?" One interesting thing I've noticed - dc who have every moment of their time scheduled and filled for them are often the first to say in a moment of unscheduled time, "I'm bored. What can I do?"

I enjoy seeing what each of our dc want to do with their free time - it's like a window into their hearts and minds. As they grow older and mature more, I can see what it is that makes each of them tick. For instance, our oldest ds loves anything that gets his body moving - right now, that would be planting the garden and playing baseball. I head out and pitch until the boys have 10 runs, now and then. We have cones for bases, and we are very lax on the rules, since we are playing with 3 people. My middle ds is into erector sets. Our toddler wants to ride the mower with my dh from sunup to sundown, and he can't go to bed without his "tractor" book. Three very different boys with 3 very different kinds of interests, and yet they all play together and dabble in each other's favorites too. We have chosen not to buy any video games, and our dc very rarely watch t.v. They do love dinner and a movie, which is what I do when my dh is traveling as something different and fun for the kids and a break for me. Because they never watch t.v., this is a treat. My toddler watches several Barney or Wonder Pet videos a day, but we'll slowly lessen that time as he grows older and can safely play more.

You may enjoy reading Rick Boyer's "The Socialization Trap" if you are wanting encouragement for choosing not to do activities. It was life-changing for me to read.

I really believe each family needs to find their way with the extras. I think balance is the key. If you're exhausted running here or there, and you feel like you rarely have time really with your dc, than it's time to re-evaluate. I've had to do this early on in our marriage and early on with our dc, and that is why I've come to the life we now have. Pray about it and God will show you the life He wants you personally to lead - each family can be different in this as God wills. But, if you are leaning toward no activities, only HOD, I'll tell you that is the camp we fall into - and we're very happy with the life we are leading.

In Christ,
Julie

[pollo_la]

Thanks for the replies everyone!

First, let me say that extras are a personal preference for each family to decide upon. With that being said, our personal preference is that our dc are not in anything outside of the home. We are not adding anything to HOD now. I used to add a few things to HOD and have now stopped. We have other books they read, an occasional thing they do for fun, but no formal requirements for them outside of HOD. We have LOVED this! I am proud my dc cannot wait for free time and generally know how to happily fill it. Now and then, we play a game as a family, watch a movie together, my dh occasionally takes them fishing, but most weeks we do not leave the house aside from attending church and seeing the cousins once. We love our life! I believe parents are the best "socializers" for dc. Then, next would be other extended family members (provided they can be a good influence ). Our dc talk easily with both adults and other dc when the occasion arises. They are happy and confident in their daily lives, and that transfers to everything else. I'm not saying this has to be everyone's approach, but I do think it is wise to be careful that you don't overfill dc's time so much that they are constantly asking, "What should I do next?" One interesting thing I've noticed - dc who have every moment of their time scheduled and filled for them are often the first to say in a moment of unscheduled time, "I'm bored. What can I do?"

I enjoy seeing what each of our dc want to do with their free time - it's like a window into their hearts and minds. As they grow older and mature more, I can see what it is that makes each of them tick. For instance, our oldest ds loves anything that gets his body moving - right now, that would be planting the garden and playing baseball. I head out and pitch until the boys have 10 runs, now and then. We have cones for bases, and we are very lax on the rules, since we are playing with 3 people. My middle ds is into erector sets. Our toddler wants to ride the mower with my dh from sunup to sundown, and he can't go to bed without his "tractor" book. Three very different boys with 3 very different kinds of interests, and yet they all play together and dabble in each other's favorites too. We have chosen not to buy any video games, and our dc very rarely watch t.v. They do love dinner and a movie, which is what I do when my dh is traveling as something different and fun for the kids and a break for me. Because they never watch t.v., this is a treat. My toddler watches several Barney or Wonder Pet videos a day, but we'll slowly lessen that time as he grows older and can safely play more.

You may enjoy reading Rick Boyer's "The Socialization Trap" if you are wanting encouragement for choosing not to do activities. It was life-changing for me to read.

I really believe each family needs to find their way with the extras. I think balance is the key. If you're exhausted running here or there, and you feel like you rarely have time really with your dc, than it's time to re-evaluate. I've had to do this early on in our marriage and early on with our dc, and that is why I've come to the life we now have. Pray about it and God will show you the life He wants you personally to lead - each family can be different in this as God wills. But, if you are leaning toward no activities, only HOD, I'll tell you that is the camp we fall into - and we're very happy with the life we are leading.

In Christ,
Julie

Julie, thanks for taking the time to tell me how God is directing "time" for your family. I think I will look into getting that book.