Oh Jessi,
You are so sweet! I haven't been to your blog in awhile and I need to do that. I LOVE your music and your writing
I feel the Lord leading me to share something here. First of all, I mess up all the time in my walk with the Lord. Just last night I was irritated with a gal the Lord has brought into my life. I zipped off an e-mail that had little barbs cloaked with Warm smiles. It was so NOT of the spirit. I know who I can be when I am not plugged into the Father and it's not pretty.
I did have something that changed my life spiritually and I want to share it with you. (All my Hoddie sisters) It was a bible study (actually it's more like a workshop) called, "
The Freedom Workshop". (This is my
personal testimony and I know that you may not have the same struggles I did.) The Freedom workshop taught me how to go from needing to fed by others to becoming a self-feeding christian. I LOVE bible Studies, but they should be in addition to my own quiet time. For 15 years I lived off of Beth Moore, Kay Arthur, our pastors weekly sermons, etc...,
(Which is great if they are in addition to my own personal quiet time and not instead of) The problem was my quiet times were not very dynamic. I often felt like I was checking a box or praying to the ceiling when I tried to read through the bible on my own. Sometimes I would hit the jackpot and it would be warm and fuzzy and other times it wasn't.
Through the
"Freedom Workshop" I learned how to read my bible relationally. How to sit quietly and listen to HIS voice. How to wait. (still working on this one) I learned how not to be a victim to life circumstances. I had a bad habit of getting my feelings hurt easily. When something HUGE came into my life (an example would have been Seth's seizures or my dads cancer) I would want someone stronger than me spiritually to come and hold my hand. Which is fine, and I am thankful that Seth's room was packed with my friends from church, but they should be secondary to the Lord's comfort. They were icing on the cake after the Father had already held me in HIS arms. (I wouldn't want cake without icing
)
This workshop is not easy, but it is life changing. I still have to fight the urge not to run to man (friends) instead of my father. When it comes to Seth's seizures I don't know that I would have passed that test had it happened during the day. It would have been very tempting for me to call my friends to come. But I now see that the Lord's timing was SO perfect because I grew closer to him in that vinyl recliner at 2 in the morning than I ever would have had I called my friends or husband to rescue me.
I am still growing up in the Lord. I still struggle with my sinful nature. However, one of the first verses I had to memorize in the
"Freedom Workshop" was..,
"Mary, you have no obligation whatsoever to do what your sinful nature is urging you to do. For if you keep on following it you will perish. But if through the power of the Holy Spirit you turn from it and it's evil deeds you will live. For all who are called by the spirit of God are children of God".
If anyone is interested in learning more about the freedom workshop, it is FREE! Just go to
http://www.saltandlightgroup.com and click on
"The Freedom Workshop" If you are serious I urge you not to just print and read, but to actually do the work. Read through the passages, memorize the scriptures, commit to that
daily quiet time reading through your bible. (We want the WHOLE counsel of God)
that in my zeal and excitement for my journey with Jesus that sometimes I get busy sharing the big moments and that I don't share those not so great ones.