Husband encouraging a different curriculum

[Jessi]

Hi ladies,

A little update from us. I have shelved LHTH for the time being and am anxiously waiting to use it slowly with Logan next fall when he turns three. She was probably ready for LHFHG but we can't afford it so we are doing something else. I tried to make it work. She is more of a workbook type girl. Who knew that a four year old would rather sit and do workbooks than fun interactive type learning. Oh well. Off to Walmart to get more workbooks LOL She loves books and I really wish that there was literature with LHTH...I think she'd have really loved it so much more. She is learning to read and could sit for hours with books. I am a little discouraged that LHTH didn't have some good literature to tie into learning.

All that to say, my husband is wanting me to try Sonlight next year with Emma. He doesn't have a problem persay with HOD, but he really wants his kids to not be so sheltered in the literature they are exposed to. He (and I) feel it is our job to have open dialogue about issues that are against our faith with our children so they can better understand the lies and also to be able to relate with those of other beliefs better by having knowledge of what those beliefs are. That is one of the main reasons we are homeschooling our children. His greatest concern is that just as public school "brainwashes" kids into believing one way against Christianity, he is worried that only telling them about Christ and Christ only will make them very naive when they leave home and make them question everything we've told them instead of presenting both arguements and saying "This is why Jesus is the only possible way.". He wants them to come to him with questions early on and not when they are in high school and already establishing their world view. He doesn't want his kids shell shocked by the things of this world. Not that he is wanting them to be exposed to everything under the sun...if that makes sense.

He likes Sonlight because of the variety of literature they use. I must admit...I like what I have seen too. I do love HOD! And I do like knowing that I wouldn't have to worry about the literature selections. But I agree with my husband that we shouldn't shelter our kids from things that make us uncomfortable or downright goes against our beliefs. I believe those are opportunities to teach. I am so torn. My husband thinks that there needs to be some division between Bible time and every subject area. He agrees that the Bible is integral in history and Science. But he doesn't feel like every lesson should tie back in to what lesson we are learning in the Bible.

Let me just say...I think he is basing all of HOD products on LHTH which does tie every lesson for the day in with the Bible story (more or less). That is a real turnoff for hubby. Do the other guides do the same thing? Or does it break away from having everything for each given day connect together? I.E. Does every lesson come back with a Bible connection or are some things just learned in a nonbiblical way simply for the value of what is learned? That would help me better approach my husband.

Sorry if I am rambling. I feel like God led me to HOD but it is an all up hill battle to do it with husband and daughter. I want our family to be cohesive on what program we are using.

Oh and I am curious about your response to Sonlight in aspects other than nonbliblical literature as that is a non issue for us. Thanks.

[inHistiming]

HOD is definitely CHRIST-centered. Things like Math and Spelling do not really have a tie-in to anything Biblical...not in the guides. Most of the key ideas for History and Science bring it back to how whatever character we learned about or whatever part of nature we read about behaved or didn't behave in a Godly way, or how wonderfully God created the fish, seashore, etc. Much of the poetry mentions something about God or His creation, and obviously the Bible study and corresponding music does. The story time books have often had a Biblical foundation, but I don't think they all do. The extension pack books (so far) have also had a Biblical tone to them. Those are actually easy to adapt though...if you wanted to choose your own books that aren't biblically-based you could do that and still stay within the correct genre.

For me, I like the selections Carrie has provided and the knowledge that they've been pre-screened AND the fact that it is noted in the guide if there will be evolutionist content in the book, etc. That gives us the choice to talk about it, or skip it entirely. I can understand how you don't want to shelter your children too much...that word has gotten a negative reputation when really it's a wonderful word. If we think about a 'shelter' as protection....giving bits of information as our children are able to handle it, and making sure we are the ones doing it, I love the idea of sheltering my children. I know, however, that it's the negative part you guys are concerned about. We definitely don't want our kids to be totally shocked at what the world believes and be unequipped to deal with it!

We tried Sonlight for a short time, and while we enjoyed the readings, I was a bit concerned about their choice of literature. I myself was not prepared with enough of the 'right' answers at the time, and something like HOD would have been perfect for us then...I would not have had to worry about leading my little ones astray. But that's just me. I know we're all different, and we are all concerned with different things. For us, we do talk about the world and what 'they' believe...but I am so happy that our schooling is Christ centered in every subject.

Something I did notice with SL is that there is a lot of flipping back and forth in the TM...for me it was confusing. So I would suggest getting a copy to actually feel, touch, and examine to see if it will work well for your family. Good luck with your decision; only God can tell you what will be the best choice for your family. But I know others will be here to give you better advice than I've been able to.

[Jessi]

Thanks inHisTiming. I had heard that about the SL instructor guides too. A lot of flipping and I told my husband I was concerned with SL because of the time commitment. I run a day care full time and don't think I'd have the time to spend on school like they recommend per grade level, especially as my son starts schooling too. Has anyone else experienced that? So, in the other HOD guides there are books that do "cover" a topic like evolution so it gives us as a family the chance to talk about it? That is good to know. Creation vs. Evolution is a passionate hobby of my husbands. I don't even have half the info he does to refute evolution. Thank God he does.

I don't want you or anyone else to think I do not like a Christ centered curriculum. That is what really made me fall in love with HOD to begin with. I want to honor my husband in this homeschooling decision though too. My hope (HINT HINT) is that you all can give me enough info about the other guides in HOD, to present a good case to my husband about why we should stick with HOD and balance what he wants for our kids and what I want for our kids and keep it under the umbrella of what God is wanting for our family.

Carrie- please do not think I am coming down on your curriculum. I love it. I just wish it went better this year with LHTH. I am looking forward to using it to introduce my son to letters and numbers though. Maybe I can tell hubby to splurge on LHFHG, see how it goes the rest of this year and then make an educated decision next fall. *puppy dog eyes* Do you think that would work on my husband? LOL

[water2wine]

Jessi, I really do not feel that HOD shelters kids at all in fact I think it has some awesome worldview teaching in it. It's Christian Worldview and that is exactly what I want for my children because I feel it is true wisdom and what God teaches us. But to me it sounds like you might just disagree with some of the fundamental foundations of HOD since they are a literature based program that does not utilize a lot of workbooks and one that take every opportunity to show God in everything and is not one that involves teaching secular views alongside except in how they match history and how perhaps they show God's hand in everything. I know for me in raising my children I want exactly the opposite. I want a program that does not decide for me how or when I introduce the more sensitive things and leaves that up to me because I feel like it is my job. I want a curriculum that does point God out in everything because I see God in everything and want that for my children. I do actually teach my children about things like evolution but I like that I control when and how that happens in the early years. I know others feel like they would like it in their curriculum even at a young age and kind of teach the secular view with the Christian view and I think that is just a completely different philosophy and way to teach. It is great that we have so many choices and different ways to educate our children because we all do differ in our beliefs.

I think Sonlite could be more to your liking since they do use a lot of secular books (that is one of the reasons I did not choose them for us ) but it is still a literature based program and not one that utilizes a lot of workbooks and I have heard it is a lot of work for the parent. But I think they have a board where you can ask questions and here is a good place to look at other curriculum and ask questions of people. http://www.homeschoolreviews.com/forums/default.aspx

May God bless you in your choice.

[Jessi]

water2wine, I feel like you think i am attacking HOD. I am not at all. I do want to teach my children a Christian world view. But I am trying to balance that with a husband who has his own idea about how we should be schooling. Ultimately he says it is up to me, but I want to honor him too. Does that make sense? I do not disagree with HOD's philosophy at all. I am an avid book reader and I like the idea of weaving Christ through it all "without" shying away from tough subjects when they come up. My daughter prefers the workbooks only because LHTH didn't challenge her in the academic area. She feels like she is learning in the workbooks because i got those to supplement. I guess it feels like we are doing K and LHTH didn't flo with it as much. Just a personal opinion. I love LHTH though. Just didn't work for daughter. I think with a program like LHFHG she'd do fine but it is trying to figure out how to spend that money with Christmas approaching.... And like I said, my daughter loves books so once we get into a guide (whatever it be) that uses a lot of literature...she is going to love it. I just know it. LHTH doesn't have literature tie in, so she got bored with it. I am not coming down on LHTH- I am only commenting on my daughter's peculiarities for her age.

[water2wine]

Jessi I don't feel like you are attacking HOD . I was just actually trying to be helpful actually. I am sorry I did not come across that way. I completely understand wanting to honor your husband. And Jessie I used LHFHG for my three year old and five year old both who actually love workbooks so we do them on the side. That is they're you can do this anytime of the day stuff so you do not drive me crazy and it seems like we are doing school all the time. But for us LHFHG was really the best fit for us. I do not think for my two youngest daughters LHTH would have been enough simply because they are the type that want school all the time and still want more after that and just who they are. My other kids when they were little never would have been able to do LHFHG and LHTH would have been perfect for them. So it really sometimes is different kids need different things. And I do really believe that as a wife we are to honor our husband and sometimes He gets a different vision from God than we do as hard as that is. I am sorry if I seemed insensitive to that.

Jessi I really want to apologize that my post did not come out right what I was trying to do was explain why I was seeing that there are many ways and preferences of how people do things. It lacked lightness because in all honesty someone had just told me something hard and I was trying to detract myself on the board (that in itself was not a good idea). Perhaps looking and not posting would have been better. So I do apologize for that. I could have worded things better. And in all honesty I do want for you to have the best fit for your family. If that is HOD then wonderful but I still understand that we all need the best fit even if that is not HOD. But my intent was just to point out why we liked it the way it was and still got the balance of the hard stuff that is in the world with the Christian truth as well. So I did that in terms of how I like to do it. I am sorry I did not do a good job of that and I was not trying to diminish what you were saying at all. I believe strongly that God does not always tell us to educate our children the same way. He does not have the same call for them and I honestly believe the call we have to materials and teaching style is really reflected in that. It is not that one way is right and the other is wrong. And it is not that you can give your children a strong Christian world view in only one way either. It just has to be the way God is calling you to do it is all.

I hope that makes more sense and that you understand what I was trying to say. Please forgive me if I hurt your feelings or came off wrong. My last desire would be to ever hurt your feelings or have you feel that I do not value your families call on how to educate your children. I am very sorry and please understand that I do respect what you are trying to do which is honor your husband and educate your children in the way God is calling you. I know other ladies here are going to do better than I did at answering this.

[Rebecca]

Dear Jessi,
I would encourage you to honor your husband and seek your God.
You are at the very, very beginning or your home school journey! It might take a while and several programs to "find your groove." That is okay.
Do not feel guilty or wrong about changing curriculum to honor a christian husband who wants to be involved in his child's life in the areas of deep questions!

As the HOD programs grow- so does the flexibility with literature choices... something to keep in mind. Meaning, you can choose what books you want to use with your dd. Plus, I personally wouldn't choose LHTH for kindergarten.

One thing you could do is hand your husband a HOD catalog and the Sonlight catalog-ask him to read through them both (then he can see where HOD is heading) and talk about it. He seems interested and involved enough in your school to do that...

I would also listen to your heart. You are the teacher- and if your family is like mine, you will be doing most if not all of the school- so you have to pick what you can effectively use and enjoy doing!!!!

As a disclaimer on this topic: my husband does NOT want Sonlight for our family and he holds me accountable to this when I get tempted by all those books (which I do - because I love books!) So I honor him by using HOD - which is my last attempt at a Living Books Approach... i.e. if this year doesn't work- we have to go to Christian textbooks - can you tell that we are a sheltering family! I am happy, happy to report the HOD is working!!!

Anyway,
It is okay.

As another side note: I do not think that Sonlight is that great at tying the Lord into history and science. Read the catalog, search their site.

Love in Christ,
Rebecca

[mom2fiveboysnc]

I for one love that HOD presents the curriculum in a Christ-centered approach. I pulled my 2 youngest out of ps this year and we are having a time teaching Godly principles to them. I have by no means been a good teacher of Biblical principles to my kids when they were younger (I have 3 older sons too) but over the past 2 years have tried to get myself right with God and not just be a "lip-service" Christian. That being said, my kids have already been exposed to so much in ps and our former lifestyle that I wish to keep their focus on Godly ways right now. We have talked extensively about things we read about and tie back to behaviors. My 6 yr old loves to watch programs that are not honoring God and in years past, I would let him. Just the other day something came on, I can't even remember what it was and he turned to me and asked me if that was something God would like for him to watch! I almost started crying but maintained my composure and we talked about it. He ended up watching something much more appropriate and I was so proud of him I am looking at your dilema in a different light in that my kids have already been exposed to stuff they shouldn't and I am trying to have them look at those influences by God's standards. I love HOD because the only approach is a Godly approach. I agree with W2W about wanting to introduce worldly concepts at her discretion. My own children are much too "worldly" for my liking. I had thought about hsing for years but was always too afraid to try it.
As for the literature "problem" you can always use your own choices for Storytime, Reading/DITHOR, or extra reading. Since these choices are up to you, you can choose whichever books you like and these will not conflict with the HOD curriculum since they are not tied into the rest. The Storytime books in LHFHG are not really "Biblical" but teach character qualities instead. So you could probably use others if you want. At the same time, these little books show animals with pride, sly, jealousy, qualities your children will encounter in the "outside" world one day.
I feel if your husband looks at both curriculums side-by-side (maybe he can even make a chart of pros/cons) he should be able to make a choice. I agree with the pp about your being comfortable with your choice as far as your time, daycare, etc. This sounds like a decision for you, your husband and God. Good luck!

[Jessi]

water2wine- It is all good. I wasn't upset with you...just clarifying. You have given me good insight though and I appreciate it. As you always do.

Rebecca- Thank you for your response. I liked that you put it in perspective about this being the beginning and it might take awhile to find our groove. I have the keep reminding myself of that. But how nice would it be to find the perfect fit from the beginning. So would you say that Sonlight kind of uses a wide variety of books for history and science and then parents have to tie in either Christlike or wordly view? The sight makes it seem like everything is Christian based but you can choose to leave it out if you want.

mom5boys- Thank you for your comment. I too have grown up in a family that is very "worldly" as has my husband. We want our kids to be approachable by people of the world who are lost as they get older because they see that our children have something amazing in their lives and our kids can be articulate about their faith but also talk to those people about their own beliefs in a dignified and knowledgable way. But I also know that there is so much junk out there vying for our kids attention and love and we have to be ever vigilant to not let Satan get a stronghold.

[trustinghim]

H Jessie

I don't really have an opinion, as I have only just started with LHFHG.
I just wanted to say that it is interesting to bring up these points, because it is always helpful to consider my own view and thoughts on the topic. I have also been encouraged by the gentle and loving way people have been able to put across different views on this

I also wanted to let you know that I will be praying for you as you think through your descision. Even though it is so hard to make choices over curriculum, isn't it an amazing blessing that we have so many choices!!! Imagine if their were no faithful people out there investing their time and energy into putting together curriculum, and we had to do it all ourselves, how scary So this discussion reminds me to be thankful for all the people have gone before us on this homeschooling journey (including the wisdom of the ladies in this group!!)

I love the way you are seeking to honour and obey your husband, it is so encouraging

All the best

Love Deb

[trustinghim]

P.S Sorry I did not spell your name correctly

P.P.S I like the point about children already being "worldly" enough. Even though we homeschool, I find that the worlds views very easily creep into our house!! (some of the time through us parents ) So I find we have LOTS of teaching opportunities to talk about why we think differently because we love Jesus. I agree that at this stage I don't need to bring extra oportunities into our home to teach on these topics, there seem to be plently (not to mention all of our own struggles with our sinful natures )


anyway, that's my 2 cents worth...

Love Deb

[inHistiming]

Jessi,

Just want to clarify...I wouldn't say I think HOD covers evolution, at least not in the younger guides. What I meant was that one of the science books mentioned millions of years (I think) and that does not go with creation science, so there was a note in the HOD guide 'to take note of the evolutionary content'.

Also, Sonlight does have a 6-month (I think that's the time frame) money- back guarantee. If you get the books, use some of them, and decide after several weeks that you do not like them, it takes too much time, etc. you have the option to return at least some of the materials, and I think even the used portions. You would need to checkt their web site for that info. to be sure. We actually did this when we decided we did not want to use it any longer, and got almost a full refund. So, if you wanted to order it and try it, that is an option. It was not for us, we like HOD, but if you are being led (even if just to honor your husband, which is a biggy!) to us SL, then that is one way to try it out and not be 'stuck' with it if it doesn't work. It would give you and your husband a chance to read through the books, see the TM, and really get a feel for what it might be like to go that route. Hope that helps.

[Marty D]

Hey Jessi,

Just wanted to post a little note about SL curriculum. I tried SL because of its literature based approach. I found it a little confusing, and a lot expensive. My son liked it ok, but he is totally enjoying the whole HOD approach better. One reason is that SL does not encourage hands on stuff. That is important to him. Of course, every family and every child is different. There is a list on their website of reasons why you should NOT try them. I read it, and hesitated to buy it, but I wanted to give it a shot. I would suggest going to the website, looking at their information and their lists, and then if you agree with their ideas, go for it! It is a great program for many people.

I find this whole topic interesting. My husband and I are very into apologetics, and we want to teach our kids that the Bible is reasonable, and that are faith is not blind. We are commanded to be ready always to give a reason for the hope that is within us. For me, I believe that before they learn the lies, they must know the truth. I remember being told that bank tellers had to handle real money and examine it closely, so much so that they would be able to spot a counterfeit. They learned the difference by learning what was real. I guess that is what I have always tried to do with my kids. Make sure they know the Truth, and then when they see a lie they can spot it. However, I do know where your husband is coming from, and I find it interesting that we can all want the same thing for our kids, but God has made us so different. None of us thinks alike, and that is the way God made us. And I believe that honoring your husband is always the right thing to do. I pray that God will give you clarity to make the right choice for your family.

[wisdom4us]

We tried Sonlight for K. It was not for us. Some of the books were too mature for our son at the time and others were just too sad, dreary - can't really think of how else to describe them. I was warned of this and wish I would have heeded those warnings! There were parts I liked but overall it was not a good fit. The evolution part of it was too much and not enough about creationism. It felt to me that it was a secular curricula trying to add in the Bible.

I do have friends that use SL in high school specifically because of the literature SL recommends. It put my friend's daughter in the upper hand in college because her peers had not read well written "real" literature.

I feel K is too young to introduce some of things that are in SL. I was not ready to go down that path with our ds.

We ending up sending it back getting our full refund. They are true to their return policy!

Ultimately, you and your dh have to make the decision together. Remember, finding the "right" curricula for you as the teacher, is just as important as finding the right fit for your children. If you don't like, they won't either!

[Jessi]

Deb- I completely agree with the "worldly" influences finding their ways into our homes even through us the parents. ugh..... And yes, I love that so many people have gone before us to make the options so much better for everyone.

inHisTiming & MartyD- Thanks again for the clarification about evolutionary content. I did like what one of the pp said about being able to choose books for story time and DITHR. That might go a big way to sway my husband. I am not wanting to push evolution or worldy views down my kids throats. I mean, I am not actively searching for books with that content just to expose my kids to those philosophies. I guess I just don't want to steer clear of a 'Hot' topic if it were to come up in any reading. I think my husband wants to know we aren't shielding our kids from tough subjects but willing to work through them with the kids and teach them the truth. We also feel if we are living and speaking the truth that our kids will learn it and know the lies for what they are, even if they are exposed to those lies in educational material because we are willing to take the time to explain.

Oh and a disclaimer....please don't think he is wanting to push this kind of content on our children at any age, let alone a very young age as they are right now where they wouldn't understand it. We just want to have an open dialogue and the ability to discuss this with our kids in their learning.

Wisdom4us- I truly appreciate your input about SL. That is a concern of mine. I am not afraid of dealing with the content of evolution but I don't want that to be the only focus for their learning in science and history- more of an "afterthought" after the truth has been ingrained in their brains. If that is the case, that just irritates the buggers out of me that a curriculum would say it is Christian in content but actual users are not seeing it in daily use.

Hmmmmmm....much food for thought. Pray for me as I talk to my husband. I am really leaning toward just getting LHFHG right now and just going slowly through it. We are already doing K math workbooks, handwriting, and she is using 100 EZ lessons for phonics. It would just make it more well rounded and include more readers and more in depth Bible time. Then next fall we can reevaluate and see how it is all working.