ADHD Help- Preparing AGAIN

[mrsrandolph]

Me again...My 9 year old son is STILL not medicated for ADHD (though he will be eventually...going through the process). He is in preparing. The History readings and Storytime readings are (seemingly) USELESS. He can't...absolutely CAN'T focus. I have done everything imaginable...given him things to play with...visual aids...bouncy chairs.

So, we are going half speed to break up the readings, but STILL! Right now we are reading A Door In The Wall, and I am reading to myself!! He is in the room but *somewhere else*.

I need help and encouragement!!

[MelInKansas]

Okay, so some of those read-alouds had VERY long readings (I just finished Preparing with my 10 year old). I myself felt like I could fall asleep in the middle of them (well not really, but you get my point). I can totally see how a child with ADD would struggle to follow along. And it sounds to me like he is not an auditory learner either. I am not. So if I had had to listen to reading aloud for a lot of my education, I think I would have missed a lot of stuff!

Would it work (though it would prolong it) to read a short part and then stop and ask a question or have him narrate? Again I struggle with this and this is what I need - a bit of engagement in the middle not just something to fidget with. Call my brain back to attention. I was going to ask if he could read them and if he does better when he's the one reading, but at 9 years old I would guess you won't expect that of him.

[mrsrandolph]

I thought the same thing Melissa. But when I posted about this issue the first time, Carrie and others said not to do that. I don't really know why. To me, it seems that frequent stops and "checking in" with him would help.

He told me, "When you're reading to me, I see something else and then when I start to pay attention again, you're done"!!!

The history readings...I feel he is getting NOTHING out of them...It's the same with the storytime box. It is like I am wasting my time just doing it with him. But he is so super bright. SO FRUSTRATING!

And, I don't think he can read it to himself yet. I will sit by him with the book so he can follow along, but he just stares off.

[StephanieU]

Honestly, I would put HOD aside for a little bit while you get things squared away with medication, etc. Maybe do something more fun for science and history - books from the library or videos. Add in some storytime books from Beyond or Bigger that are shorter readings that he can handle.
THen, when he is under control for the ADHD, try Preparing again.
I think the reason you don't want to stop is that at some point, they have to learn to listen to longer readings. That is why the readings increase in length over the guides. At some point, he is going to have to sit and listen to a 30 minute sermon at church. He is going to have to sit and listen in college if those are his goals. He is going to have to figure out a way to pay attention. It might mean note taking or drawing or doodling. But I wouldn't try a ton of things now when the medicine might affect what is successful.

[Kristen]

I understand how frustrating it can be to try and work with these types of challenges! Hang in there! God is working and you will see the fruit!
My suggestion is to let him act out the story as you read it. Let him know that he will really have to listen and concentrate so he can follow along and come up with some actions. It's supposed to sound fun to him. This is probably not in line with Charlotte Mason's teaching but sometimes we have to modify a bit, right?
My DD7, who is very active, starting doing this a few times when I was reading something to her older brother and she was just listening in. At first I thought it was distracting but I let her continue and it was actually pretty funny. Now, I'm a serious person by nature who LOVES to read so this didn't sit well with me at first. But I realized, in her own way, she was connecting with the story!
I also have DS15 who is dyslexic and hyper. But, fortunately, he learns best by listening. So he could always learn from my reading or an audio while keeping his hands busy. My DS17 is not hyper, but his mind wanders so much to other projects he wants to do that he takes a VERY long time to get through a reading on his own. He's also very concrete so literature is hard for him. He does best when I read to him and discuss or when he reads and listens to an audio version at the same time. I'll never forget the time I was reading to my oldest and DS15 was in another room playing a video game. The son I was reading to had a very hard time understanding the story (some kind of classic, older English lit.). Meanwhile, DS15 who was in the other room and seemingly not even paying attention, understood the whole thing and started explaining it to his brother.
Remember this - your son is only 9 and he will mature so that he can do more in one sitting. And he will want to do more. Schooling my DS15 has been quite the challenge but he has always liked feeling productive. Short lessons are so helpful. We just have to find the things that work best for their gifts. Yes, this is a gift. I'm sure your son's personality is suited to doing exactly what God has in store for him. My son is a true people person. He will never be a book person. And that's ok.

[mrsrandolph]

What's funny is that he sits through church. What I mean is, he sits quietly (because of discipline), but I am sure he retains about as much as he does for school! He does love math! We use Teaching Textbooks, and it is fast paced and changes enough to interest him (I guess).

[kidsforHim]

I thought the same thing Melissa. But when I posted about this issue the first time, Carrie and others said not to do that. I don't really know why. To me, it seems that frequent stops and "checking in" with him would help.

I say this carefully, tho it may not come across like I want it too, and from my heart; Do what YOU feel YOU need to do for YOUR child. Others mean well, others have legitimate reasons for WHY they think such and such but if in your gut you feel it would, or may help, then follow that.
When I gave up what others had said or advised, and followed the deep or quiet suggestion in my heart/mind, THEN I made progress, whether in school, my health, or any decision I was facing. In following the idea that you've felt led to try, it may be it will prompt another idea that will be the help that is needed.

I also liked this suggestion :

Honestly, I would put HOD aside for a little bit while you get things squared away with medication, etc. Maybe do something more fun for science and history - books from the library or videos. Add in some storytime books from Beyond or Bigger that are shorter readings that he can handle.

God bless you in your homeschool!

[mrsrandolph]

Thank you kidsforhim. You are so right.

[Nealewill]

I would also consider breaking up the readings if that helps you. I do know that others don't recommend it. I have tried the CM approach where if my kids miss what was said, then it is their fault and they miss out. Uhm....my kids totally don't care if they miss out LOL! For me, with my son who has auditory processing disorder, he STRUGGLED until this year with paying attention. And even now there is a lot of hit or miss. I just break things up and ask questions. And he will sometimes ask me question as well while I am reading. I encourage it. I stop about every page and ask him things to see if he is paying attention. Does your son read well at all? I have found that if something is to my son's reading level, he pays much more attention when he reads it himself. He does still struggle a bit with reading and comprehension though so he can't read any "T" boxes successfully on a consistent basis.