something's not clicking :-( Thanks Everyone!!!

[j_croche]

Hi,
I have a child who is struggling and I hope that some of you wonderful ladies can help.
I have my ds9 and my ds11 both doing Preparing(11yo w/extensions). This is working great for my 11yo, but not so great for my 9yo.
What's happening is he is just tagging along with his brother. He is struggling with math, reading, dictionary skills, alphabetical order....you name it.
When looking at the placement chart, I felt that he was borderline Bigger/Preparing. I figured with help that he could do the work (perhaps it's the fact that I was trying to keep them together swayed my decision ).
Currently, I have him in Saxon Math 5/4---He's failed the 1st. test 4 times .He asked me to please not give him the test again. He was very upset. I think somewhere between homeschooling, going to school, and coming back home, something was missed. I printed the placement test for Singapore and he would need 2A. I don't know how this would affect his self esteem, but struggling is not helping either.
R&S 3 is okay (he's struggling with alphabetical order--lesson 5 or 6), but he really hasn't had much grammar before this, so maybe we need 2.
Also, his reading is very choppy--not real fluent. However he seems to comprehend well at times. Do you think he should read through the emerging readers?
I just don't want to keep going and end up with learning problems---just b/c I was to prideful to admit that he needed to move back. I also don't want him to feel like a failure .
Is it possible to use Bigger for the right side and have him continue in Preparing for the left side? Or should he be in bigger completely? I'm so confused as what to do to help him. I really blame myself, b/c last year when I was pregnant, we were very inconsistent.
Thanks in advance for you help.

[MamaMary]

Dear Jennifer,

I am getting ready to get ready for church but your post pulled my heart..., I understand! A couple of quick thoughts off the top of my head.

1- First and most importantly, I am asking the Lord to go before you and to bring you the perfect advice that will give you clear direction and that you will know it is the Father in heaven leading you along the way. I am also praying for your son and that the Lord would bring understanding and peace to his little heart.

2- On a practical note, your younger son may be able to do the work in preparing but his timeline might be different than your older son. He may need you to stay on each of those topics a bit longer, he may need you to pull out the white board and to sit and soak in areas that the older son can whip right through. He may not be able to follow the Preparing schedule on the right side of the book timeline wise. You could either:

a) Use Preparing as your guide but don't try to move as quickly.
b) Purchase Bigger and go back one step. (I would always rather have it a little easier than too hard)
c) Purchase different curriculum for the 3R's and keep your two boys together in history/science/bible/poetry/activities. (I do this for one of my boys)

HTH, and I look forward to hearing other's responses.
Mary

[deltagal]

Hi Jennifer,

Good morning! Let me begin by saying I'm not a HOD user, BUT I have a 9 year old soon to turn 10 and I am very familiar with the materials that are giving your son a challenge. For starters my 9 yo is in Singapore 2A and it is a perfect fit. He moves at a nice clip. He feels confident and excited that he can "do it." No self-esteem issues there. It is challenging, fun and just enough. I wouldn't hesitate to put your son there, if that's where he places. also, my 9 yo is not a fluent reader. One of the appealing pieces of HOD to me it the emergent reader piece, which you mentioned. I'm planning to order that today for my 9 yo and then when he completes it we will roll into DITHOR. Finally, either work with your son orallly on the Rod and Staff 3 or use R&S 2. There is a big difference between the two books. And if you look at Carrie's post for Rod and Staff down the road even using R& S 2 your 9 yo will still be right on track. Sorry I can't link you to that discussion, but I'm not that savvy with the board use...yet. I'm not using either at the moment, because I really wanted to address my 9 yo's reading issues before addressing grammar, but if I were to use one at present I would use R&S 2 with him.

When I look at the placement chart there are a lot of things about Preparing that seem they would be a good fit for my 9 yo, but not the fundamentals. So go where God leads you. Adjust those fundamentals and see if it comes together better, if not then perhaps you can look at a different level. God's timing may be a little different with your son than what you hoped, but God's timing is always perfect! It will all come together ...in time.

With Joy!
Florence

[j_croche]

Mary,
Thanks for your encouragement and prayer. I hadn't even thought about the possibility of slowing the pace down. That's something for me to consider. Thanks for the other suggestions. I will be prayerfully considering them. It helps to know that someone else is praying and understands what we're experiencing.

Florence,
Thank you so much for posting. Again, it's encouraging to know that there's another child his age that's working at the same level and thriving. I'm realizing that grade levels are just numbers and he needs to thrive more than he needs to be in 4th grade. I think the self esteem is issues are more from him feeling like he's dumb(his words )because I'm either pushing too hard or using materials that are beyond his capabilities-- or both.
I do appreciate you posting and I will be prayerfully considering all suggestions.

[mamas4bugs]

I just wanted to chime in with a few thoughts. Absolutely, you can use the right side of Bigger and keep the boys together for the left side of Preparing. That's exactly what we do, except that my younger son is doing Beyond, not Bigger. It works out great.

I also wanted to encourage you that grade levels really are just numbers. My kids are in different grade levels for different things. The important thing is to meet them where they are so that they are learning. I understand your concern. I moved both my sons back a level when we changed math curriculums because what we were using just wasn't working. I was afraid it would bother my oldest son, but they both get such a self esteem boost from their ability to do the work and understand it.

I know that as you continue to pray, God will show you exactly where your son needs to be.

[anointedhsmom]

Jennifer,

I wanted to tell you that I have a 9.5 year old son doing Bigger. I put him there because Preparing was just too much for him. The beauty of HOD is that there are not grade levels on the books. My son is not reading well at all right at the moment. I tried the emergent readers but he was struggling too much so I stopped and we are working on phonics instead. My son could handle the right side of Preparing but not the left side so I decided to put him in one program to make things a bit easier on me. I am so happy that we chose to do Bigger instead of Preparing. Bigger allows me to give my son the education he needs without making it too too easy but he still has success. It also allows me to spend a bit more time on my sons weak subjects. You very easily could do the right side of Preparing and the left side of Bigger but know that if you choose to use all of Bigger for the 9yo then you won't be doing him a disservice at all. The target age range for Bigger is 7 to 9 too. Also my son tested into 1A singapore so don't feel bad about your son testing into 2A. Singapore's numbers on their books are not grade levels. In other words 1 does not mean 1st grade. It's just the order of the books. So if you do switch to Singapore be sure and let your son know that about the books. Just tell him that since he's having trouble with Saxon you want to try this new math and that you really believe he might like it better. Also remember that most kids that come to Singapore later usually test at least 1 level or more behind their current math curriculum.

I do know how you feel and I am praying for you. The Lord will give you wisdom and usually it's the last thing we would think we would be the wisdom we need.

Blessings!

[j_croche]

Mamas4bugs, thanks for your prayers and encouraging words. I've had a hard time realizing that grade levels are just numbers. It helps to know that there are so many others that just meet their children where they need to be in each subject.

Annointedhsmom, thanks for sharing. Your kiddo is the same age as mine and seems to be thriving where you have him. That's very encouraging for me. Thanks for your prayers and for reminding me that Gods wisdom may be different than our thoughts or plans.

Blessings,
Jennifer

[Lori_in_Austin]

Hi Jennifer,

My heart is heavy for you right now, because I really feel for what you are going through. As moms we want so much to what is right for each child.

I was thinking that maybe you might need a confidence booster, too ! You might consider reading a book or two on homeschooling in general. There is a plethora out there, so maybe you could ask some of your hs friends and aquaintances from time to time what they have read. I have found a lot of encouragement that way. Also, some of the books out there that cover the history of our modern "conveyor belt" kind of mass education are very interesting and give you an idea about how all the "grading levels" "system" started. It made me "relax" so much more about grade level verses my child's unique individual level.

And lastly, hsing is a way of life, not just the learning of math and reading. You are developing a relationship with your children and building a family that is like no other and that will grow your children to be parents and spouses, etc themselves one day. Sometimes, when my boys and I seem to have a rough couple of days, I feel like the Holy Spirit convicts me to say a quick short prayer out loud together with my ds5 before we start a lesson and/or when we finish -- something very short and sweet. Somehow, the anxieties seem to melt away and the desire to learn and hope to try again begins to smother the frustration. An heartfelt hug thrown in there, too. (any excuse for me I guess!).

Hope that helps. Keep us updated.

[j_croche]

Hi Ladies,
I appreciate the advice and encouragement that all of you have given me. I'm hoping that more of you will chime in today.

I'm prayerfully considering all suggestions. This week I am actually having my ds take the Singapore placement test as last week we had only printed it and looked it over. We started to today with the test for 1A and he made a 90% so tomorrow we will do test 1B. BTW, he was beaming with excitement for having done so well---it was a real confidence booster I explained to him that we will do one test each day until the tests get too hard. I told him that's how we will know which book he needs. I also explained that the numbers were levels--not grades. We are going to do a few more lessons in R&S 3 before deciding if we need R&S 2.

Please let me know if this sounds like a good plan or what you would suggest. I'm so thankful for this board.

Blessings,
Jenni

[mamas4bugs]

Sounds like a great plan to me!

[Carrie]

Jennifer,

I just want to encourage you that finding the right fit can take a little time, especially when your kiddos are coming from a different school setting, and you're trying to figure out where they're at! You are doing a great job of sorting through your placement and tweaking to get the BEST fit!

First of all, I'm so glad that it sounds like 2 of your kiddos are placed correctly. That is a wonderful thing to celebrate!

Next, I think that you are so right that your 9 year old needs some tweaking in the 3 R's. I would definitely drop him back to doing the right side of Bigger Hearts. This will be a great fit as far as Rod and Staff English 2 goes. It will also serve him well to do the first level of dictation passages, or even drop back to the spelling list 2 in Bigger if needed. You can follow the Emerging Reader schedule in the Appendix and do the daily hands on math lessons in the Bigger plans for Singapore 2A and 2B. You can do cursive handwriting if needed as well, following the plans in Bigger Hearts. One other option, would be to have your 9 year old drop back to doing the science plans in Bigger Hearts too, instead of the science in Preparing. This will be a better fit all around.

Then, just have your 9 year old continue along for the left side of the plans in Preparing with your 11 year old as you've been doing. If even the left side of Preparing feels like too much for your 9 year old, you could always drop your 11 year old back to Bigger Hearts and do the left side of Bigger and the storytime box on the right side of Bigger to do American history with both your 9 and 11 year olds. In that scenario you would be uusing Bigger Hearts as your primary program, but adding the right side of Preparing for your 11 year old, in the areas of English, dictation, science, Bible study, math, and poetry. You could send back any unused books from Preparing to get credit to help you purchase Bigger with extensions for your 11 year old.

Anyway, just a few options that will definitely help you get the right fit.

Blessings,
Carrie

[my3sons]

Jenni,
I believe God has given you some comfort with moving your son's 3 R's around, because your ds is "beaming about his math" now - and he's even in the TESTING phase - which few dc beam about ever! I would do the right side of Bigger.. with him, and as MamaMary wisely suggested, try to do the left side of Preparing with him on his time table, letting him do less and take longer if need be. My ds is almost 9 yo and doing well with Singapore 2B now - I really like what "mamas4bugs" had to say about numbers - so true! I also liked what Paige had to say about referring to the math as "levels" rather than grades. What a great way to explain it to your son, and a very honest way too that obviously worked with your ds. As already mentioned, Carrie made sure not to put grade levels on her guides, for that very reason.

When I think about levels, I try to imagine myself learning a totally new skill. I am reminded of Carrie and I's first trip to the local gym (last month). A young man was very knowledgeable about all of the machines at the gym. In one 2 hour session, he politely told us (IN DETAIL) how to use every single machine in the facility. Now, mind you, Carrie and I are not weight-lifters, nor avid work-out queens. We went into overload. When all of his teaching was done, we tried to use the treadmills and had issues (that was the one machine we knew about BEFORE we got the tour). Anyway, there's no point in fast-forwarding to a level we're not at until we get down the fundamentals. Then, we might be able to zip through learning about all of those machines (hard to imagine, but possible, right? ). Our dc are just like us... I think they go into overload when we become the "gym guy" talking circles around them as their head begins to throb, and they possibly forget the one thing they may have already known well. Good for me to remember!

In Christ,
Julie

[my3sons]

And lastly, hsing is a way of life, not just the learning of math and reading. You are developing a relationship with your children and building a family that is like no other and that will grow your children to be parents and spouses, etc themselves one day. Sometimes, when my boys and I seem to have a rough couple of days, I feel like the Holy Spirit convicts me to say a quick short prayer out loud together with my ds5 before we start a lesson and/or when we finish -- something very short and sweet. Somehow, the anxieties seem to melt away and the desire to learn and hope to try again begins to smother the frustration. An heartfelt hug thrown in there, too. (any excuse for me I guess!).

This touched my heart, Lori! What a great way to handle strife during the homeschooling day. Thanks for this idea - I'll be using it.

In Christ,
Julie

[mansmom]

Jenni

All these great ladies gave great advice...I just want to continue to encourage you...my dd8 has had many challenges, but one thing I have learned is that when she starts to get upset and overwhelmed and it is too much for her...that we must take a step back so we can leap forward. That's the best way I can describe it. It seems sometimes her brains need time to process too many knew things. If I step back in math or grammar especially....we do that for awhile, she gains so much confidence and is reminded that "yes she can" do this...then all of a sudden we are full steam ahead and she is right back at it with a joyous, confident heart!!

I second R and S 2....we started something else and went back to this to give her the basics and confidence (again!)...she is thriving in it and we do a lot orally which makes her really happy.

On a side note...I think you said in your first post that he is having trouble alphabetizing....I really can't remember which guide it's in (that's sad but I'm sure someone else would know)....but there was an alphabetizing activity that had you lay the letters out on the floor in order...and then give them notecards with the words on it...to physically place down....sort of gives them a concrete idea of what you are doing...and if i am butchering the real activity I'm sorry Carrie!! This is just what I remember...I have read through several guides lately (you know...in my free time!)...

HTH

[j_croche]

I am so uplifted and encouraged after reading so many responses! I was just out with a friend (for some much needed mommy time) and I was telling her about this board. How wonderful to have such a resource available!

Lori,
Thanks for the much needed confidence boost. Also, thanks for helping me to remember the big picture of why we home school. It's not just about academics, but about building relationships that will last a lifetime. I teared up thinking about my ds's becoming husbands, fathers, and my dd becoming a wife and mother(even though she insist that she's staying with us forever--lol.). I am so thankful to have the opportunity to plant the word of God in their young hearts.

Carrie,
Thanks for the encouragement. Also, thanks for pointing out that I have the right fit for two out of three, which is something to celebrate .
We are definitely going to drop ds9 to the right side of Bigger Hearts. I think it would do him some good to follow the emerging reader schedule and do the hands on math activities. I had planned for both of my ds's to begin DITHOR this week, but I think that I'll just use the storytime in Bigger for my 9yo (in addition to the emerging readers) and my 11yo has requested to finish out the BJU reading program that he had already started this school year. We will then do DITHOR for both boys next year. I am debating on the Science in Bigger for ds9 as well.
Both of my ds's are really enjoying the History in Preparing. Both of them have only had American History and Geography up until now, so they are really enjoying this. I don't have the heart to switch it....b/c they are actually excited to do History everyday. I will just tweak it for my 9yo. My only hang up is where would this put ds9 for next year? Could he do the left side of bigger and the right side of Preparing? I'm assuming the new Ancients guide may be too advanced...unless we make a lot of progress between now and then. Let me know what you think. If it's too complicated I may have to move him to Bigger for everything now, but I wouldn't want to move my 11yo as Preparing is such a GOOD fit for him all around.

Julie,
I have to admit that your post made me chuckle I loved the gym story. It helped me to remember that just because skip counting, multiplying, dictionary skills, etc... come easy to me, doesn't mean that they come easily to him. Poor baby, his little mind is probably on overload
It was a blessing to see him excited about the placement test today. It was the first day in a while that Math didn't end with tears. It felt good to explain to him about the levels of the books and have him understand. I know that he will be able to accept whatever level he needs.
BTW, I so wish that I could have my sister along side me for this hs journey. You gals are so blessed to have extended hs family. Thankfully, I've found my extended hs family through all of the ladies here. HUGS

Joy,
Thanks for helping me to realize that sometimes we have to take a step back in order to move forward. My 8 month old is learning to crawl and is only moving backwards at this point, but I know that he's building his strength to move forward. How about that, God drove your point home by giving me a visual! I love when he does that, he knows that he created me a very visual learner
Also, I am feeling much better about going to R&S 2. Thanks for the alphabetical order tip.

Again, Many thanks to everyone who responded with thoughts, prayers, and advice. You are gems

Many blessings,
Jenni